Unbearable

Even the sight of you 

Grows unbearable.

For it whispers to me 

That you are without.

Dry leaves

Hopes and dreams of a lifetime,

A thousand fervent prayers.

I gathered them up and walked

Like a beggar to her abode.

But as I reached those doors

The laughter spilling out

Blew away all my prayers

Like dry leaves in the wind.

What now should I beg for

From this strange queen

Who robs you of hunger

And soaks you in bliss?

Jai Bhairavi! 

Guru

Your presence is a dagger 

That you buried in my heart.

The pain screams within

That all I considered life

Is now forever lost.

A wicked dagger indeed

For my dying moment

Seems to stretch on and on

As life pours out of me

In final abandon

As I walked this dark forest

You waylaid me, O robber!

You freed me of life

And bound me in death,

In everlasting debt.

Shambho!

The Dead City

The afternoon breeze winds its way
Through the lonely streets of the dead city
Blowing dry leaves around, this way and that,
Singing to itself, a meaningless tune
Of joyful, self-absorbed madness.
A madness without beginning or end,
A madness that is as vast as the sky.
This wind once blew through other cities,
Cities that were alive and cities that died.
It murmurs as it enters the empty rooms,
The auricles and ventricles
Of the dead heart of the city,
Speaking of the futility of life
And the endlessness of death,
And laughs quietly to itself
Immersed in its own immortality.

The dead city sleeps, conquered by the wind,
The wind that walks its streets like an emperor.
The dead city sleeps, embraced by the wind -
Dead and yet alive,
Lost in the unfathomable ecstasy
Of surrendering to timelessness
And to Death.

Soma

 I am drunk on the wine

That drips from the trees

That pours from the moon

That swirls in the seas.

When I drink this wine 

I know that you are.

So what do I care

For battles waged afar?

The Cloud

A cloud keeps me from seeing you.
This infernal cloud
Of smoke and dust, of death and fear.
I wave my hands to bat it away
But I do not try hard enough.
I hold something back.

Something holds me back
From that inevitable moment
When I will see you
And the sight will burn
And destroy my mortal eyes,
Burn them right out of my skull.
So that you will be the last thing,
The very last thing that I will see.
That is what I want, is it not?

But I hold something back.
Perhaps I want to run away
And turn my back on you
And hold on to the little balls
Of delicate flesh in my skull.
That I may behold the trinkets
And long forever for your fire
And the deep blindness it will bring.

But you will not let me go.
You lure and pull me through.
The rattle of the damru,
The scent of ash,
And the crescent moon in the sky
Drag me inexorably
Through this infernal cloud.

 

Listening

The sky fell silent,
The earth stood still
Waiting eagerly
For you to speak.

The stars shone brighter,
The birds rejoiced
Hearing the silence
That fell from your lips.